A 200-word paragraph about socks, then some less dull stuff.

Having finally got my clothes to some state approaching dry by using the clothing-rotators down in the AMH laundry rooms (calling them "driers" would be stretching the term a bit), I've decided that 's sock-pairing method is far superior to my own. The way she taught me involves putting paired socks side by side and them inverting them both through the top of one sock of the pair, resulting in a sock-ball. The method that I had always employed previously, having been taught to me by my mum when I was small (yes, even smaller than I am now) involved putting one of the pair of socks halfway on to one hand, so that the heel was at about the tips of the fingers, then laying the other across it, grabbing this second sock with the hand and then peeling the original sock off the hand. Not only did this waste a huge amount of time, it also tended to raise awkward questions in the Sinner chatroom.

[Wong] (Sorry, typing with a sock on my hand just now)
[SiouxsieSioux] and what exactly are you doing with a sock!?
[Wong] Pairing them.
[SiouxsieSioux] so you just happen to be on the net with a sock in one hand?
* Greebo sniggers
[Wong] WinSock.

The first tutorial for Operating Systems was this morning. Fortunately, preparation for it was easy thanks to my new habit of taking notes, which I hadn't really done since the second semester of first year. The tutor's computer stopped displaying things near the beginning, so he had to borrow Cristoph's Tablet PC to replace it. Watching him attempt to teach on an unfamiliar computer with the operating system in German was a process that provoked much hilarity. However, all traces of this vanished during the next tutorial on Logic, Specification and Verification. It's strange, because I've attended seven out of seven lectures of that course so far, and I've still no idea what it's about or what we're meant to be learning. The tutorial consisted of randomly typing (flatten) and (split) in to a proof assistant until it came out with some sort of proof that was below 35,000 lines.

I was going to make a start on the Databases practical today as there are only eleven days until Whitney visits, but I honestly can't be bothered. I've decided, though, that I'm going to stick with being comfortably unoriginal and database a University. That's a start, at least. The method of communication that we're using for the junior honours project has also turned out to be an utter failure, and I'm now trying to think up euphemisms for that to put in the weekly log.

Dihydrogen Monoxide

This really has gone beyond a joke now.

Off the Rails

Today the entire Junior Honours network was brought down by a dancing penguin.

We had been having problems over the last few days to do with the space on the JH server being entirely filled, and even though we're only given a meagre 10GB between all of us, no one had enough space used to be filling the disk. Apart from Steve, that is - his directory was moved to a different server because it was so gigantic. But that failed to solve the problem - soon the drive got to maximum capacity again, despite Roja trying to assume command of things by appointing himself as network monitor and shouting at people to cancel their print jobs.

It turns out that Iain, who had been quietly keeping to himself, was running a small innocent Linux "software tool" (a penguin that wanders around the desktop) which was generating its error logfile, or some such thing, at such a high rate that it had filled the disk - it was 12.3GB by the time it was eventually discovered. Quite how a 12.3GB file fitted on to a 9.6GB disk is beyond me, but it's best not to ask these things.

Even after the network was fixed and I could log on, I still have very little idea of what to do for my database practical. I had a quick look at the MySQL application and it's more complex than I thought, mostly because it doesn't really give you any kind of visualisation of what you're doing until you ask it to. I had a brief flash of inspiration while downloading some less useless TTD road vehicles and thought I could do a transit company as my "unique and unusual" database, but I think it might be a bit too simple. We'll see.

I have had an extremely productive day, or at least what passes as one for me. I was in town before the first lecture, during the afternoon, and this evening I purchased two train tickets to Cambridge so that Whitney and I can visit friends there. Guess which one of those caused the most stress. Here's a brief summary of the online adventure that I've just had, after the failure of going to buy them in person.

1. See ticket for £84 on the site, but no mechanism to buy it.
   
2. Phone up GNER.
   
3. Wait for five minutes on hold while listening to terrible lift music.
   
4. Give up.
   
5. Phone rings.
   
6. It's my mum telling me to get organised about getting train tickets.
   
7. Do my best not to hang up.
   
8. Get off phone and go back to site.
   
9. Find an alternative £84 ticket and go to Purchase.
   
10. Realise that none of the Purchase buttons on the site do anything at all.
    
11. Find another site.
    
12. Find the ticket on that site.
    
13. Watch the spinning clock indicating the search is in progress.
    
14. It only gives me the option of getting single tickets.
    
15. Search again.
    
16. Watch the spinning clock.
    
17. Find only a ticket for £114.
    
18. Wonder idly if there's a "Kill webmaster" button.
    
19. Look on the GNER site itself.
    
20. Realise that all these sites connect to exactly the same database.
    
21. Register at GNER.
    
22. Am told "Thank you for registering - now purchase your tickets and breeze through the station."
    
23. Suppress manic twitching.
    
24. Find that the cheapest ticket it has is £185.
    
25. Decide that everyone at GNER should be boiled alive in a volcano.
    
26. Go back to the second site.
    
27. Search again.
    
28. Watch the Rotating Clock of Despair.
    
29. Find the ticket for £114 again.
    
30. Decide to give up and just go for that one.
    
31. Click the button and it says the train doesn't exist.
    
32. Start the search again.
    
33. Watch the Gears of Madness grind upon my very essence of being.
    
34. Find the £114 ticket and Continue.
    
35. It tells me I have to register with them.
    
36. Register and log in.
    
37. Click "Purchase this ticket".
    
38. It dumps me back at the "Where do you want to go?" page.
    
39. Become unable to type due to convulsions.
    
40. Start the search... again.
    
41. Spin, spin, spin.
    
42. It can't find the ticket.
    
43. Contemplate suicide.
    
44. Start again.
    
45. Shield my eyes from the timekeeping device of Lucifer.
    
46. Find the £114 ticket.
    
47. Buy it, quick, before it breaks again.
    
48. Print out confirmation. Collapse in to quivering heap, my only consolation being that the saga will make quite an entertaining Livejournal entry.

The opposite end of the musical spectrum

As my last update was music-themed, I thought I'd do the same thing but with decent music this time. Well, I say "decent" but it depends on your definition of that word, really. Irridisregardless, I've been putting this together for a few weeks on and off (mostly off) and thought I'd share it with the vast readership of my Livejournal. All three of you.

All of these artists have at least some connection with Noise Records. This is a German division of Sanctuary Records, one of the biggest record companies in Europe. It was co-founded by Rod Smallwood (also known as The Sherrif of Huddersfield, for reasons too complex to go in to here). They introduced an almost shareware-like concept in to the distribution of music, that of encouraging people to "Download, Burn, Spread" free online singles. These consisted of one or two songs from each album along with printable cover and tray artwork, therefore all that was needed to manufacture a complete single for free. With the distribution of these, the idea was to embrace the MP3 concept and make themselves more well-known by using it. It's quite likely that you haven't heard of them, though, which suggests that the users have taken their slogan a little too literally.

Kai Hansen

This is the man who started it all - influenced in turn by Iron Maiden, he developed the melodic style of metal now known as "power metal". He used to be part of Helloween - a band comprised of people who looked like the Eighties, concentrated and personified. He left them and started his own project, Gamma Ray, after the creative clash with some of the other members got too much. Outside of Germany, Japan was the country that was most taken with his happy style of musicianship for some reason. One thing that's strange about him (apart from all the songs about aliens, of course) is that he has a very odd way of writing the album booklets, unless I've been mistaken all this time and that metal in Germany is actually the equivalent of teeny-bop.

Is the reason behind just about my entire musical taste.
Has a voice that has been known to shatter windows.

In the album booklets, spells "music" as "musax" and "lyrics" as "lyrix", showing not only a flagrant disrespect for English but also remarkable inconsistency.
Unintenionally inspired a considerable amount of J-Pop.

Piet Sielck

Sielck was also a starting member of what was eventually to become Helloween, but decided to abandon the dreams of fame and left to become a sound engineer instead. After producing countless well-known bands, he decided to have a go himself and released what was supposed to be a one-off concept album called "Iron Savior: Protect Atlantis and Conquer the Alliance", based on a novel that he never got around to writing. Apparently it worked out so well that Iron Savior turned in to a "proper" band, with five more episode-albums released so far. One of his great strengths is that he doesn't take himself seriously (and who could, being head of a band that sings about Star Trek?) - he knows the whole leathery, spiky image of metal is just a charade and isn't afraid to make a fool of himself, which he frequently does on the band forums.

Has the same hair as I did.
Said that I was doing a "cool job" after I posted my music on his forum.
Started the nerdiest band ever.
Was surprisingly funny on the Battering Ram commentary.

Was astonishingly unfunny on the Condition Red commentary.
Has admitted to liking Slipknot.
Started the nerdiest band ever.

Roy Khan

Khan, as he calls himself, is the vocalist in Kamelot, a band which not only has a silly name, but also which combines power and progressive elements to produce attempts at writing entire metal symphonies (in the form of "Epica", which was loosely based on Faust). Despite the pretentiousness of it all, it's pretty much guaranteed that you'll like at least one Kamelot song because of the vast range of styles that they write in - from gentle orchestral ballads to twelve minute epics about bathing in the blood of virgins.

Isn't Mark Vanderbilt, Kamelot's first vocalist
Unlike him, can actually sing really well

Has a silly beard.
Is in a band called Kamelot.

Timo Kotipelto

It's here that I'm beginning to regret the idea of finding suitable photos of people, because all these artists seem to have a habit of standing around in very poor lighting.

Kotipelto is the vocalist in Stratovarius, which recently split up, reformed, disbanded, and got back together again, in a very confusing and unlikely saga. The band leader, Timo Tolkki, was almost killed by a fan in the process, although this might be something to do with his attempt at copying John Lennon. Kotipelto recently started a solo project as well, which may have been halted now that Stratovarius are back together. Having bought his attempt at an album, I can only say that this is a good thing.

He has an extremely good range, and can scream and sing with equal mastery.
Has a large and confident "SMOKING!" under "Dislikes" in his profile.
Is in this photograph.
Isn't really coloured blue.

Looks a bit like a woman.
Sounds a bit like a woman.
Writes the dullest songs imaginable.
And doesn't seem to think it necessary to write lyrics that fit the rhythm.

DC Cooper

I didn't much like DC's style of singing at first at it occasionally sounded rather too much like screaming rather than being tuneful (a bit like Bruce Dickinson in Iron Maiden's No Prayer/Fear of the Dark phase). On Worlds Apart (the first Silent Force album released by Noise Records), though, there's no sign of that. As far as writing goes, he has a strange approach to lyrics - they seem to make sense at first glance, but looking at them more closely they don't seem to be coherent at all.

Fighting the silence of chosen sanctity
A choice I made alone
Am I misled by the selfish blinding need
My dreams all meet again

The instrumental sections of his songs are also quite surprising, as they sometimes borrow from other songs... Ode to Joy turns up in the middle of "Death Comes In Disguise", while "Heart Attack" seems to have a brief medley of the musics from Lemmings. Incidentally, I've no idea what his real name is or if he even has anything more than two first initials.

Learned to sing during the transition to Noise. How ironic.
Writes the most incredible layered vocals ever (e.g. Heroes, Iron Hand)

Doesn't sing remotely intelligibly.
His lyrics don't make sense anyway.
Thought it would be a good idea to get his 2-year-old son to sing the first part of Spread Your Wings.

Yngwie Malmsteen

Don't panic, that's not something left over from the Rocky Horror Picture Show that you see over there, it's just a bad photograph. The improbably named Yngwie (which is only pronouncable as "Ing-vay" by human tongues) is the only one in this list who isn't primarily a vocalist - he plays the guitar. Incredibly fast. In fact, he's regarded by many as one of the best living guitarists, and the trouble is that he knows it and now has an ego of titanic proportions. His songs combine classical and metal elements, and the titles have been known to be puns - "Baroque and Roll" being a typically tragic example.

May explode at any moment due to being too full of himself.

Despite that, is annoyingly talented.

Of course, that's nowhere near a complete list. I've even missed out Hansi Kürsch, the gravelly-voiced Lord of the Rings fanatic who fronts Blind Guardian, and Rob Halford who seems to be wearing at least four cows' worth of leather at all times. But it was fun while it lasted.

When German Pop Attacks

I think that Whitney put things very well when she described Modern Talking as a "German J-pop band". Indeed, if the examples that I've seen so far are anything to go by, it seems that Germany shares Japan's love of happy, catchy yet clearly terrible strange popular music (although considerably less manic).

This is not one of their videos.

The song title is "Moskau", and the video resembles Rammstein gone very badly wrong somewhere. I particularly like the grumpy-looking bald one who seems to be taking things very seriously, especially compared to the floppy-haired one who surely has more than a little of the Dieter Bohlen gene in him.

Watch and laugh, then weep, then guiltily save to your hard drive for later listening. Thanks to for pointing it out to me.

LS Implementation Deluxe

On Saturday night I went down to the Jack Cole Building, which unusually still had a working door at the weekend. I stayed there from about eight until midnight writing pieces of the ls program and being distracted by my laptop and the Internet. Despite those, though, I managed to competently all but finish the entire program off, which certainly restored the confidence in my ability I had been lacking ever since I realised I'd completely forgotten how to program (which happens at the start of every semester).

In fact, things went so well that I went back there on Sunday afternoon and wrote a MIDI player/beat counter for the project. I had been panicked in to doing this by an email from Kirby which said that we needed to start handing in CVS versions of our code, which necessitated me not only learning CVS but also actually writing some code. While I was there Ishbel came round leading a tour of the labs, so I felt I looked quite impressive swivelling between the reams of computer-speak on my laptop and desktop screens. I was actually trying to write a better installer for Micro Machines 2 at the time, but that's not the point.

During that weekend I also rediscovered the greatness of Transport Tycoon Deluxe. It's quite ideal to have on next to you while you code, as it provides a bit of a distraction from the dullness. Not only is the music fantastic, but it basically runs itself and only needs attention occasionally, like when a UFO lands next to your railway and explodes. Microprose were a bit funny like that.

Wham-plankton! Thud-seacucumber!

To avoid the problem of having to crowbar a packet of ramen in to the jug that I eat it from this evening (therefore shooting bits of dry noodle in to the five corners of my room), I hit upon the ingenious idea of bashing it up while it was still in the packet. Unfortunately, I seem to have overdone it a bit and my dinner now consists of a jug of hot water, beef stock and some dust.

I was out today with my parents looking at flats again - it seems most likely that Whitney and I will live in Cupar next year, but whereabouts remains to be seen. Properties are a lot less expensive there than in St Andrews, and the commute in wouldn't be too much of a problem with the Fiesta.

After I've finished this I'll probably go down to the Jack Cole Building and work on the practical for a while. Scarily, that idea is actually sounding quite appealing.

Still a computer scientist.

My laptop is becoming a little unreliable. Putting aside the issue that it's the oldest and dirtiest laptop in the world for a moment, it seems that whenever it's transported from one place to another the monitor breaks down - there must be something loose inside it. I remedied this the last time by holding it about five inches above the table and letting it drop, which cured it instantly. Its home this semester is going to be permanently in the lab rather than sitting at home doing nothing - I'm using it just now to type up notes during lectures, and it's also somehow comforting to have Windows an arm's length away when Linux gets all too much for me.

I shouldn't say this because it'll just make everything instantly difficult again, but I think I'm approaching the end of the "rewrite the 'ls' command" practical. The three main problems are that I hadn't used C in ages, that even something as simple as writing strings becomes a hugely awkward obstacle in C, and that I'm too stupid to be able to use pointers. Java, or preferably MMF, are the way forward. I can't help but feel that MMF might have been taken more seriously as a professional software tool if they hadn't made the mistake of making the tutorial a guide to making a rubbish little Breakout game.

The practical for Databases is going to be a different kind of difficult, like I've mentioned before - I have to think up a scenario to model, something that isn't too complex but not too simple. At the moment I think I'll go for being vastly unoriginal and keep a database of students at Qwertyuiop University or something, but the lecturer was saying today that it doesn't have to be real, so people can run hypothetical databases for spacecraft manufacturers or something. In fact, the example she gave involved elves making pixie dust, but I don't think I'll take up that idea as it would raise severe questions about my sexuality.