Exercise?

"Today," I declared to myself at breakfast as I stuffed myself with five slices of toast followed by a doughnut, "I'm going to start exercising." Exercise is something that I feel I've been badly in need of recently, and I wanted to do something about it before my gut actually swallowed me whole.

With no DDR machine within 16 miles, though, the decision of how to exercise had to be a little more imaginitive. I had resolved to do sit-ups every morning, but today I managed a total of only thirty before collapsing to the floor in a quivering gelatinous heap. Well, as my uncle Brian used to say, "If at first you don't succeed, don't bother trying".

Speaking of Brian, we got a phone call about him at midnight last night and it seems that he's gone missing after being in hospital. My dad's been phoning around hospitals trying to get news of him, but I'm not too worried yet, because he used to vanish off the face of the Earth all the time then turn up again a few months later having been living in a caravan or another country or Neptune or somewhere.

I decided to walk around Inverurie after my failure at other exercise, and that turned out to be the most frightening walk ever, because I discovered as I was passing the bank that before I paid in my wages this week I had a total of £5.44 in my account. Looking at my budget file in Excel, I remember that sending flowers to Whitney was expensive enough to warrant a mortgage on my bedroom and having to live on bread and water for the rest of the term, but I didn't think that I had that little left. Fortunately my pay at work is now a little better, so maybe I'll be able to sort that out by the time I come back to St Andrews.